REFRESHING THE SWEET SIDE OF ME

This poem was written about a year ago, and was posted in our group blog. As I scan the posts in that page, I wonder if this poem is still worth reposting. I do hope you'll enjoy this poem, with all the confused and contradicting thoughts that you can read here. Criticisms are allowed, as long as you say it in a proper way. Toodles! :D

JJA.. 

It’s so absurd, you may not believe it;
But this is so true..
From day one my attention was captured by you.
I know this day will come that you’ll know the truth.
It’s just that I never expected this is too soon.

You never know how excited I am when I was transferred to your team.
It wasn’t a good news for me though, since I know I have to fight the feelings.
Until I sat beside you, and you knew there was nothing else behind the way I look at you..
That moment when I said I’ll never take my eyes off you..

Every time you ask who’s the mysterious guy.
My mind keeps on asking so many why’s.
Why do you have to know?
Why do you even care to ask?
Why are you so interested?
You said it was just natural curiosity..
I assumed something that’s not right..

I never told you that I simply look at you when you’re asleep..
I always wish you won’t wake up and catch me staring at you.
It’s funny that I can watch over you and work on my assignment at the same time..
I guess I never want to miss the opportunity that I can freely look at you.. Look at you that close..

Somebody might call you a frog, but you’ll always be my prince.
I’ll deal with your natural curiosity rather than calling you my paparazzi..
I’m just sad that I deleted my chat history..
‘Cause that’s where I can track my joyous moments with you..

You’re a great TL, everyone knows that..
It’s such an honor to work with you in a short span of time.
Whatever happens in the next days, I’m sure your tips will always be on my mind.
I’m sure I’ll remember you all this time.

Please act like you knew nothing.
Please act like you never read my post.
Never stop smiling.
Don’t feel creepy when I tell you I’ll never take my eyes off you.
I just want to cherish the little moments that I can have with you.
Moments when I’m still here and you’re just there...



Love,
Huntress

Fear Can't Stop Me

Neither Augustus Waters nor I spoke again until Patrick said, "Augustus, perhaps you'd like to share your fears with the group."

"My fears?"

"Yes."

"I fear oblivion," he said without a moment's pause. "I fear it like the proverbial blind man who's afraid of the dark."
- TFIOS

Yes fellas. That was quoted from the novel that I'm currently reading, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I started reading the book last week, and I can't find ample time to continue the story. Sigh.

Anyway, after reading that scene, I instantly researched for the meaning of oblivion. According to Webster's dictionary, it means "the state of something that is not remembered, used, or thought about any more." Another meaning told me that it was "the state of being unconscious or unaware : the state of not knowing what is going on around you." I guess the worst definition that I got said that it was "the state of being destroyed." 

I understand Gus' fear of being forgotten. Who would want to waste all those efforts that they've exerted to be memorable and remarkable? Who would want to waste all the things they've done when they were living? And who would want to be forgotten by the world that he/she used to love?

And, I understand Gus' fear of being unconscious or unaware. I remembered the time when I was at the hospital, totally unaware of the procedures and treatments that they've been giving me. I was half-asleep and I can see people moving. However, I can't feel what they're doing with my body. If you don't know what's going on around you, you might be considered indifferent. You might be called weird. They might say you're one of those people who always run away from fun.

Lastly, I understand Gus' fear of being destroyed. Obviously, yes?

However, I really LOVE Hazel's reaction with his answer. Again guys, I quoted it from the story:

"There will come a time that all of us area dead. All of us. There will come a time when no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you.Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is million years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was a time before the organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that's what everyone else does." - Hazel | TFIOS

Who knows when we'll be dead? You  might die in as soon as possible, (GOD FORBID!) or you might live longer. We really don't know. Whatever good or bad things we do everyday, there will come a time when everyone will forget you too. You might be the best writer today, but your memories will die someday. You might be the black sheep of the family, but the next generation won't know that anymore. You might be exerting all your efforts to please the society, but time will come that they'll never care.

I admit, I also fear oblivion. I've been enjoying the comments and appreciation that I've been getting from my blog. I've been loving the friends that I've been knowing here. I've been trying so hard to post the best article and the most entertaining post for everyone to read. However, I have to face the fact that there will come a time that everyone of you might stop blogging. I might stop posting. I might be preoccupied by other stuff. My writing skills might be unused, my literary pieces forgotten, and my blog will be destroyed.

However, going back to Hazel's comment, we should bear in mind that everything will pass. Our thoughts might be important today, but will be forgotten someday. Our experiences might mean so much to us at the moment, but can be replaced in the future. Everything has to evolve. Everything will change. It's inevitable.

I'm not saying you'll went out of your house, so fierce and fearless, to break the norm and say they'll forget about it. What I wanted to tell you is to open yourself for new things and adventurous events. Savor the fun, the moment, and the joy that you have right now. Enjoy the freedom at your own risk. Be fearless in such a way that you won't be called a criminal. You only live once, fella. Don't fecking waste that one chance! :D

Love,
Huntress

The Art of LDR

Everyone hates that phrase. Long distance relationships. It's usually associated with unlimited fights, awful arguments, betrayal, and treachery. Come to think of it, not all LDR's ends with breakups. It depends on you, two people, who could make it last.


What makes LDR's fail? Let me give you a hint on some of the things I was frightened years ago.

Love at Proximity 

I've read an article before and it says relationships start 'cause of each other's presence. If you had much time with that person, you could start to care and to love and to treasure them.

It happens all the time. I myself is a witness to that. There were some who only love a person while they're near you. Others think they'll stop loving him/her when you're having geographical problems. Others think that their partner would find someone more attractive wherever they are. The truth is, if love is true, distance won't make you feel abandoned.

Insecurities 

Our partners will meet someone new once they've been working away from us. Let's deal with that. Yes, he/she might tell you who's adorable, who's the sweetest, who's the sexiest. There were times that we might feel insecure, and might start to doubt about the things our partner have been doing there.

Lack of trust


I could've listed lots of reasons here, but it all ends up with that phrase. Lack of trust makes LDR impossible! As long as you've been doubting about your partner's love and loyalty, you don't have to expect a happy and stronger relationship amidst the distance.




I know and I understand that being away from your partner is so darn hard. However, you can make this work! Believe me!

NEVER cut your communication.

It's OK if he/she's been telling you how great his/her new work was. Or how nice her seatmate/office-mate was. Or if he/she told you he/she had a great time with office-mates. He/She should still have a social life. I'm sure you'll have tons of stories to share too, right?

Keep the communication open. Don't hesitate to tell him/her that you've had a bad day, that you need to hear his/her voice to be comfortable again. Speak of sweet things whenever possible. Call to say 'Good morning', or just to ask him/her if he/she has eaten already. Simple text messages mean a lot, guys! Send emails. If possible, send snail mails. Social media gave you lots of chances to send your thoughts to you partner wherever you are and whatever you do.

REMAIN Loyal

You won't start doubting your partner's relationships if you're not doing something wrong, too. Yes, there's no harm in making friends, but please set your limits. Don't forget you're in a relationship. Let friends be friends. Not friends with benefits or other than that.

Don't PROVOKE any conflict.

He didn't text you on time? Might be he was rendering overtime at work. She didn't call when she told you she'll do? Maybe she fell asleep as soon as she come home. It's never hard to understand your situations, people. Ne matured enough to strengthen your relationship. Don't act like high school students who were falling in love for the first time.

NURTURE the Love 

How would you do that? Keep on doing the three things mentioned above. That's how you'll nurture the love. If possible, set a date when you could see each other. Use that time wisely, and don't waste a chance to tell him/her how much you missed him/her. Don't forget to assure your partner that your love won't fade amidst the distance. Let those assurance be your guide in the days that you're not together.




LDR's aren't that bad. It depends on your commitment. Let's make this work people! We'll avoid broken hearts and drunken nights in the end! :D




Love,
Huntress

Poetry Play

I can’t find a way to come near to you

‘Cause you look so far away.

I can’t find the courage to talk to you

‘Cause I’m speechless when you stay..

I can’t even look into your eyes,

‘Cause you might see the pain I hide.

I can’t tell you how much you mean to me,

‘Cause I’m afraid to see you walk away from me.

It’s been years, for your information

Years of loving from afar without hesitation.

I’ve been here all this time, waiting,

Just a glance my dear, and I’m falling again.


-- a poem that could be found on my new story, Hunting the Blitz.



Love,
Huntress

B.A.D. | Forgetful Friday

Forgiving is easy. Forgetting is another story.

 

That's one of my mantras in life. It's hard to forget those things that caused you pain, happiness, and various feelings. However, there are times that you have to try so hard to forget in order to survive.


My blog followers knew how devastated I was last year. Those people who hurt me are still, honestly, lingering in my mind from time to time. I don't know why. Even if I try to forget them, I just can't.


Let's talk about the guy first. Spending my life with him for the past one and a half year gave me lots of memories to ponder on. All those smiles, those travels, and those happy moments. I admit, it's not easy to delete them in my heart.


I always felt his lack of trust throughout the months that we're together. He doesn't believe me if I tell him I'm not having extra affairs with anyone else. Then, I actually gave up. I honestly waited for the day when he'll just tell me that he doesn't love me anymore. I guess, the separation would be easier if it ended that proper.


It was that September morning when we had a fight. It was about a text message from the girl he was "flirting" with. At first, he doesn't want to admit it. But when I started packing my bags and left, he told me he wanted to talk to me.


It was all bullshit talking. He doesn't want to get straight to the point. And I gues my heart had been expecting that. I cried, for a few minutes, then I was ready to face the world again.


Lastly, the girl. She knew the guy was taken. But she still pursued. I guess, that's what bitches are for. Snatching other's partner in life.


It's been six months, and I can honestly say I have forgiven them both. I am wishing them complete happiness together, and that's really sincere. What I wanted to forget is the happiness that we've shared together, so that I don't have anything left to reminisce.


I wanna forget the day that I met him on the streets.


I wanna forget those nights that I slept with him.


I wanna forget those days that I woke up in his arms.


There were lots of things to forget.


And most importantly, lots of lessons learned.




Love,
Huntress

Zup?

Who would have thought that June have passed so fast? I can still remember how awesome that month was. Sadly, it’s all gone now. All that’s left are the memories of the past 30 days.

I would like to give you some recap of my blessed month. For the record, June is my birth month. I’ve received tons of gifts, tangible and intangible, all throughout the month. Wanna have a glimpse of them? Just continue reading. *wink

June 1 – Home Sweet Home!

In my previous blog, my readers knew that I traveled back to my hometown for my birthday celebration. We arrived at 6am, all tired and crap. It was a long and winding journey, you know. Twelve hours of travel is pretty much exhausting.

That afternoon, I attended the youth fellowship at our church. Their warm smiles and hugs made me long for more of their presence. I can’t wait to be with them again. I wanted to join the music team again. Please I beg you my Lord! Make a way! In God’s time! ^_^

June 2 – Happy birthday to me!

Photo posted on my FB page during my birthdate. :D Such a crazy morning...

Aside from my birthday, that’s the date when Audie and I are officially together again. Well, it was my idea. He just agreed.

It’s not a grand celebration, but I am so happy to be with my family on that special day. It’s not like the old times, when I spend most of the time at a mall and ate at a fine dining restaurant. Makes me feel how I missed those people I’ve abandoned for so long.

June 6 – The Reunion

"No hard drinks for the kids." At Graceland with the two lovely ladies. :D

They’ve been very busy with their lives, yet I am so happy to have some time with Grace and Ainie. They were my closest friends during my high school and college days. It was hours of talking, reminiscing, and laughing. It’s just refreshing to be with them. No stress. No pressure. I enjoy being the old me. :)

June 8 – Baby Love

Photo courtesy of Audie's FB profile. :D

We had a chance to bond again after a week of being apart. As usual, our days were full of fun, laughter, bluffs, and love.

A week passed already, but I’m still on a state of shock. Who would have thought the man who used to disregard me would come back and fix things between us? It was really amazing! It was one of the best birthday present that I had!

We might be facing various problems and issues today, but we know we could surpass all of them. Aja! ^_^

June 15 – New Housemate

Yes. My sister’s boyfriend is my new housemate. Well, he’s planning to move out by next week. Hmm. I’m still waiting for his final decision. ;)

June 24 – New Blog

Hello blogspot. :D

I started this blog, “Thinking about Thoughts” last 24^th of June. At first, I wanted to separate my non-sense posts with my crafts, but then I thought it’s already time to stay clear of those internet trolls who’ve been pestering me for the previous months. Hello “a-bit-of” privacy! :D

I am also planning to post my stories here, but I don’t have much time to translate the Tagalog ones to English. I badly need more time. :)

Oh wait! I won't end this post without acknowledging my new favorite telenovela, My Love From A Star. :D

So..

 

I just shared some of the highlights of the month. I guess I don’t want to talk about office stress ‘cause it might ruin the celebration of the post. Uh? I said that already, right? Hmm. Never mind.
 

I am so excited for my July adventures! I just hope all those planned quests would be pursued. Hehe! Let’s start with my Daranak adventure this weekend! Woohoo! Excited much! :D

That’s all for today. I’ll just start the translations and post a story tomorrow.

Ciao!

Love,

Huntress

To My Beloved

 To My Beloved

By: Ayin Huntress

I know you’re not expecting this post,

Like the essays that you’ve read at most.

Still I have the urge to share a craft for you,

For I know how please you are to read my work.

The first time I saw you, I can still remember,

You’re someone I can’t imagine to be mine.

I haven’t seen you and after a year,

Your presence has been what I am longing.

Never expected that you’ll come and fetch me at school,

I was thinking that you’re making me like a fool.

Never thought that I can fall for someone like you,

Since my latter has broken my heart into two.

You’ve proven that love still exist after misery,

You showed me the chance of being happy.

You were there when I’m scared and when I fail,

You held my hand to make my day.

To my beloved, as we start a new beginning,

Let this art be a sign of what to happen.

I will the best partner that you can never imagine,

And be the perfect lady ever living.

I know I can never be like your mom,

I can’t cook good meals like her.

Just let me be your wife,

That will serve good food to your heart.

I can never be your college friends,

That allows you get drunk and spill out.

But I can be your loving best friend,

That can drink with you until it is time to sleep.

I can’t be your past lovers,

That can give you all that cuddles.

Just let me be a woman that can entice you,

The one you can share much pleasure.

It has been two years and ten months,

And I know we’re still counting.

There’ll be more years to pass,

And in there we’ll be hanging.

To my beloved, to my hero,

To my special someone, you who serves as an inspiration.

I am for you my dear and to you alone,

Even there are many obstacles that can prove me wrong.

To my beloved,

Let me be your lover forever.

Let me be your partner for all time.

And let me be your lady until my last breath.

To my beloved…

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